What the season of gratitude can teach us about nourishing ourselves and one another.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, November invites us back inside. The shorter days and cooler, wetter weather make us want to be sure the last of the autumn harvest is gathered and tucked away for winter.
Kitchens become busy places again. Summertime salads are set aside for simmering soups and warmth from the oven is once again welcome in the house. Familiar “comfort food” recipes come to mind; and somewhere in all this transition, we may begin to think of gathering.
We have always been a gathering species
Perhaps it's Thanksgiving dinner with family, a potluck with friends, or simply sharing afternoon tea with someone whose company we enjoy.
Whatever form it takes, gathering is something humans have been doing for a very long time.
Long before Thanksgiving became a North American holiday, communities around the world marked the changing seasons by harvesting, preparing food, sharing resources, and coming together. And while the traditions vary widely, the underlying human needs remain remarkably familiar.
We need nourishment, we thrive on connection, and we need to feel that we belong and are therefore safe.
As it turns out, our brains benefit from all of these.
More Than a Meal
In my family, all gatherings, not just holiday celebrations, revolved around food. For most people, food has more meaning than just fuel needed for survival.
Preparing and sharing food can be an expression of generosity, hospitality, tradition, and love. Recipes carry memories, and we all know how a familiar smell can “take you back” and remind us of people and places.
Even though gathering around a table for meals is becoming less common in many households, it continues to create wonderful opportunities for conversation, laughter, and connection when it does occur.
So it’s not just about the food.
If you’re a regular reader here, I’m sure you knew I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to talk up the health benefits of the traditional foods of an American Thanksgiving Dinner. And honestly, the traditional Thanksgiving table can also offer some genuinely brain-healthy choices!
Here’s a brief synopsis of just how amazing this meal can be: Pumpkins and sweet potatoes provide many of the nutrients usually present in colorful plant foods, including carotenoids. Cranberries contribute vitamins and polyphenols. Green beans and other vegetables add fiber, vitamins and other important micronutrients. Turkey offers protein, which supports the maintenance of muscle and overall health.
We used to think it was the L-tryptophan amino acid in turkey that makes us sleepy, but apparently that’s a “medical myth” and there’s no more of it in turkey than in chicken or beef; it’s all down to eating large portions of food at one sitting that makes us need a nap.
And if we prepare these foods with a little olive oil, herbs, and other simple ingredients, we have the beginnings of a delicious, nourishing meal – or even a feast! Now, if we just wouldn’t make everything into a casserole or a pie, we’d be justified in calling it a brain-healthy MIND diet meal!
But perhaps the point isn't to make Thanksgiving dinner into a nutrition lesson. Perhaps it's simply to recognize that good food and good company can coexist without perfection, and both are good for us.
For more on the subject of nourishment specifically for the brain, you might want to check out an earlier blog of mine: Feed Your Brain: Add Before You Subtract.
The Other Kind of Nourishment
While we often think about nourishing our brains through food, there's another form of nourishment that's equally deserving of our attention; the human connection.
We are social beings. Throughout human history, cooperation, caregiving, and belonging have helped communities survive and thrive. And our brains have developed within that social world.
Conversations require us to listen, remember, interpret, respond, and sometimes reconsider our assumptions. Sharing stories draws upon memory and language. Laughter and companionship can help us manage stress and support emotional well-being.
In other words, meaningful relationships offer our brains opportunities to stay engaged, and the benefits aren't limited to large family celebrations.
A conversation with a neighbor, a walk with a friend, or a shared activity with someone we care about can be just as meaningful as the time around the table on a holiday.
It's not necessarily the number of people around us that matters most; more likely it’s the quality of the connection.
A PINCH OF SCIENCE
Research increasingly supports what many of us have experienced: our social relationships as well as our everyday food choices matter for long-term brain health.
Studies have found associations between stronger social connections and better cognitive health, while social isolation is recognized as a potentially modifiable risk factor for dementia.
The 2024 Lancet Commission on dementia prevention, intervention, and care identified social isolation among several risk factors that deserve attention across the lifespan.
Nutrition research offers another piece of the picture.
The MIND diet, which emphasizes berries and leafy greens, as well as other colorful vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts, olive oil, fish and poultry, has been associated with better cognitive outcomes in observational studies similar to the Mediterranean diet. However, no single dietary pattern guarantees protection against cognitive decline.
What I find encouraging about this research is that it doesn't show there is only one way to eat and it doesn’t ask us to make dramatic changes overnight. It reminds us that everyday choices can contribute to a healthier brain over time.
And perhaps most importantly, we can enjoy making those choices!
Gathering Can Get Complicated
Of course, the reality of holidays is that they aren't always simple.
There may be financial pressures, complicated family relationships, too much work for too few people, or expectations that are difficult to meet.
For some, the season intensifies feelings of grief and loss. Others may be separated from family by distance or circumstances. And some people just never have found traditional holiday gatherings particularly comfortable or joyful.
That's worth acknowledging.
Connection doesn't require a perfect family, an expensive meal, an elaborately decorated table, or a house full of guests.
Sometimes a smaller gathering is more satisfying, and sharing the work can make the celebration feel more inclusive. The most meaningful connection might happen outside the family circle altogether.
A community meal, an invitation to a neighbor, volunteering at a kitchen or shelter, or spending a quiet afternoon with a friend can offer opportunities for a sense of shared belonging.
And it might be that choosing a different kind of peaceful holiday without the pressure of a large gathering is exactly what we need.
The goal isn't to gather simply because the calendar tells us to.
It's to create opportunities for genuine connection in ways that fit our lives.
Make It Real: A Simpler Season
What if we approached this season with a little less emphasis on doing everything and a little more attention to what actually matters? Each person has to decide what that means to them, but here are a few possibilities:
Keep the food simple. Choose seasonal vegetables, add color to the table, and enjoy familiar favorites without making every dish a project.
Share the work. Invite others (or offer, if you’re a guest) to contribute a dish, help with preparations, or participate in cleanup. Working together can become part of the gathering itself.
Make room for conversation. Put the phones aside for a while. Ask a question, share a story, or invite someone to tell you about a favorite memory.
Expand the circle. If traditional family gatherings aren't possible or desirable, consider connecting with a friend, neighbor, or community group.
Leave room for rest. A meaningful celebration doesn't have to be an exhausting one. When my parents visited my father’s family in Norway, I recall my mother telling me how she was delightfully surprised when blankets and pillows were handed out after a large midday meal, and everybody found a comfy spot and took a nap!
Here's a question to ask yourself as we go through November:
What is one simple way I can nourish both my brain and my sense of connection this season?
Maybe it's preparing a favorite seasonal food and sharing it with someone you care about.
Maybe it's reconnecting with a friend, or simply making time for a conversation that goes a little deeper than the usual exchange of news and weather.
Whatever you choose, remember that connection doesn't need to be complicated to be worthwhile.
The Rhythm of the Season
The changing seasons remind us that life has rhythms. There are times for growth and activity, and times for gathering, reflection, and rest.
One thing I love about November is that it brings a traditional opportunity to appreciate not only the food on our tables, but also the people, relationships, and communities that nourish our lives.
And I think that's a lovely way to care for ourselves and especially for our brains.
Wishing you a season of nourishment, belonging, and Golden Clarity.
Warmly,
Jan
References used in the preparation of this blog post include but weren’t limited to:
Livingston and colleagues, Dementia prevention, intervention, and care: 2024 report of the Lancet standing Commission, The Lancet (2024).
Morris and colleagues, MIND diet associated with reduced incidence of Alzheimer's disease, Alzheimer's & Dementia (2015).
Some of You Ask: What’s In My Brain Health Toolkit?
So I try to update this at least monthly if anything has changed. I frequently mention in my posts that I structure my life around the change of the seasons. I do certain house cleaning and maintenance things on or near the equinoxes and solstices, not entirely because of any ritual or belief, but because it makes it easy to remember! I also attend to my garden and house plants that may need a little help as temperatures and light change.
But in terms of my personal health “toolkit”: November is the time I make my Elderberry Syrup from a recipe I got at Mountain Rose Herbs in Eugene, Oregon (you can find them online if you aren’t planning a trip to Eugene anytime soon). I keep it on hand for the first sign of a seasonal viral invasion.
I get my ‘flu and covid boosters and continue to take my Vitamin D3. Along with my “happy light” and some low dose melatonin at bedtime, that’s about it!
Always An Open Invitation:
If this perspective toward wellness resonates with you, and if you’ve been looking for a more thoughtful, grounded approach to brain health, especially after midlife, I invite you to explore the resources and services I offer here, including the Golden Clarity Protocol.
Not as something you have to take on or master, but as a way to better understand what already matters.
I look forward to walking this path with you.